Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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