Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
