I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just high enough for therapy.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
