He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
