Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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