Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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