I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
