Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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