At least make sure they are 18
Why
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
there was a trapeze. enough said
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
