his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
