One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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