i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
porn star boner night. come get it.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize
