I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
