He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize