conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
