you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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