All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
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your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize