next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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