Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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