Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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