i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
