You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
