he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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