I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
