your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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