Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
