someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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