i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize