I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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