Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
