Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
