I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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