Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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