8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
