Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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