dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
one might say we're banned from that church
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
