umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
