Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
