The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
