shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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