Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I cannot find my penis.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
