dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
