Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
