Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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