are you still at the devil's house?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
