great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
