You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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