turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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