I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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