I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
