suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
fuck your aforementioned shoe
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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