Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
