Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
