That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
