Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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