is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
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Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
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It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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