There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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