she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
