Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
