so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
