Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
