i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
