I wannas sexs uuuuu
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
