I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
